This week's manly quote:
"And still, after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
'You owe Me.'
Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky."
- Hafiz
Sometimes, consciously or not, we curate our feelings because we think there are actions that must follow an uncomfortable or intense emotional experience: fixing, changing, some kind of meaningful interpretation. Similarly, there are things like self-judgment and intellectual rationalization that further limit how we experience the world. And it's not that there is anything inherently wrong with any of these things, of course. For example, understanding the "why" of an emotion can help us gain clarity around what needs of ours are not being met and, therefore, what actions/requests can we take to satisfy those needs. The important thing to note is that it is OK - necessary, even - to feel our feelings and know that acting is not required.
We might choose action. We might choose action later. But for now, as we start to approach the family time holiday season, let's remember that giving ourselves permission to feel everything is a powerful first step all on its own.
Feeling frustrated around the Thanksgiving table? Take a breath and feel this frustration. Feeling angry that you are sitting in traffic and might be late for Christmas dinner? Take a breath and feel this anger. Why not? These feelings are small potatoes compared to the stress we feel when we try to avoid or battle reality. If we are feeling angry in this moment, that is our reality and accepting this will ultimate lead to a much more content state of being.
Contentment comes when we stop resisting what is - even when "what is" is uncomfortable.
Feelings of discomfort come and go. States of being, like contentment, are much longer lasting and are the direct result of us being more present and taking on life head first.
Weekly Men's Circle is a great time to practice this before we head home for the holidays.
See you tonight, gentlemen!